Love and Relationships: On the Concept of Time and Waiting

Time is gold they say. Time flies. Time slips through our fingers. One second we waste, we can never get back.

Waiting takes time. For me it’s like we stop time to wait for someone. We put parts of our life on hold just to wait. We sacrifice lots of things to wait.

One example of this would be this story of a girl. 

She went to this grand ball. She spent time finding the perfect dress, and preparing herself for this ball. She wished the man she loved would ask her and so she turned down every proposal she got and waited. 

The man never asked her and she said “Oh well. I can still go stag and maybe he’d reserve one dance for me.”

And so she did. The ball was perfect and everyone complimented her on her beauty yet it was only one compliment she wanted to hear. A compliment from the man she loved. It did not come. 

Again, she turned down every dance that’s asked of her because she was waiting for only one man to ask her. Again, it did not come.

As the clock ticks, she grows sadder. Each second that passes by is a second closer to the end of the ball. The music stopped and a wave of great sadness enveloped her.

Nothing happened. She waited and got nothing. But she still had hope. “One must not lose hope no matter what” she told herself.

And she went home. She got in a van with some of her classmates and the man she loved was there. Luckily, they sat next to each other. Again she wished that he would hold her hand, tell her she was pretty… Anything! They were on their way home and she was desperate. 

Again, nothing happened. And as she laid on her bed, she thought of the night and how this was the last time she’d ever experience a ball and she wasted every second of it hoping and waiting for something that will never be.

I think this is a perfect story to tell you my view on waiting. Sometimes it’s good. Most of the time it’s not. We wait and wait but how do we know when to stop?How do we differentiate waiting patiently from sheer stupidity?

Some people keep on hoping that someday their love will get noticed and it is them who don’t notice how much time has passed and how much of their lives they’ve wasted waiting and hoping. They don’t notice the numerous opportunities life has thrown their way like the girl who rejected all dance proposals since she was waiting for one. In the end, she got none.

You love someone? By all means, understand him and wait for him. But don’t be stupid. Set yourself a deadline. And when that deadline comes, reevaluate your self, your relationship and see if everything’s worth it.

A simple rule: if the sadness you get is greater than the happiness you receive by twice or thrice then it’s not worth it.

I know moving on is hard but it is for the best.

I’ll end this with a quote:

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”

—W.C. Fields